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Onward to the Flame

by Sam Bodary

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1.
Limbo 05:55
Last night, I couldn't tell the sunlight from the moonlight from the half-light, or any kind of light Penetrating my sight, the floodlights, the bar fights by drunken stoplights, some kind of light As it glimmered and shone as I unwrapped your body and its tomes Some kind of light Learning every incantation to fend off my impending starvation till the next night Some kind of light Will get me through tonight I'll end up alright I'll go find a new light You can go if you want to You can stay if you want to Just don't leave me in limbo You can go if you want to You can stay if you want to Just don't leave my lying in limbo Or I'll go crazy This fight, I don't know if I'm right or you're right or we're both wrong and we just need a little light Cause I've never quite stood a fight like this, I normally just bite the dust and hope it'll all be all right By morning light I just need that kind of light To reconcile my fright Just lead me to the light You can go if you want to You can stay if you want to Just don't leave me in limbo You can go if you want to You can stay if you want to Just don't leave me lying in limbo Or I'll go crazy
2.
Privacy is a red time machine, it'll take you back Whizzing and whirring to the past So you can examine Every little choice you made and find Every little misstep along the way Heartbreak is a blue rocket ship Blasting off to your mind on a mission to find how You were never good enough for her and why You'll never be enough for anybody else You'll succumb to a feeling that seems to never end Straight out of the best to the sleepless nights, it rends You a lark and a fool, who no one can depend on But by all means, try again try again try again Hope is just an eager boy pushing you up A yellow plastic slide, and he'll Spur you on to rise again, just to Stumble back to where you got up from Life is like a brown willow tree, reaching for the sky And across the lawn with its leaves hanging Down for all to see the goal was never To be taller than the rest at all So sleep, my darling, go to sleep Your best days are today so go out and live it up Cause tomorrow will be hard, be still for now And sleep sound Goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight
3.
Waiting 03:37
You woke up on a Saturday Eyes staring up at mine You said "Boy it's been a long long time Since anyone round here's looked me in the eyes No surprise" And I stare back at you I say "Well it's just the two of us Your little girl went out for a drink I think She thinks I think but I don't think I know" I don't wanna be young anymore I don't wanna be young anymore Nothing I have to say hasn't been said before I guess that's what waiting's for You laugh and say to me "Boy I can't even stand on my feet It hurts more than you'd ever believe to breathe deep You don't want to be like me. I know I don't wanna be old anymore I don't wanna be old anymore Any tiny speck of mold could spell the end for me, I'm sure I guess that's what waiting's for" "Let's make a deal" says he "Help me up off my feet And take me out to smell the tender breeze That spreads the good disease Would you please won't you pretty please And in return Lend me your fingers I'll tell you a story We'll write down a song for you to play when I'm gone It's what they're waiting for" I don't wanna be young anymore I don't wanna be young anymore But I'll play these songs till I'm old and I'm sore Cause that's what living's for
4.
Dissassembly 01:58
Look how it starts Look how it disassembles now With no fanfare or march Just the soft admittance That its time has passed As it packs up a bag solemn and stark And struggles with the deadbolt again
5.
To the Flame 05:55
I am waiting for the culling of the herd And the calming of the seas afterword I don't know how much sun is left But I'm not gonna waste my light dreading the night It's coming all right It's coming all right I got a one-way ticket on a beat up train And I'll ride till they kick me up, and kick me off Where no angels fly and you'll seldom see a soul But there's white clouds for miles around For miles and miles and miles around Cause I've seen so many moths in the night Fly too close to the light Their soft cotton wings, they burst Sooner or later we all burst So I'll lie here in my bed my dear Let's watch the fireworks I'll fly I'll fly I'll fly down But I can't slow can't slow Cause I've seen so many moths in the night Fly too close to the light Their soft cotton wings, they burst Sooner or later we all burst So I'll lie here in my bed my dear Let's watch the fire I can't tell babe, I can't tell But my clock could run out real soon So till then I'm running at full speed I may not have as much time as I think I need So I'm running forward, babe I'm Running at full speed. But I'm missing the world, plowing through my chores Head down, next to my vacant window frame on this god-forsaken train I'm giving up on my long to-do I'll try to force some rest on these bones, on my weary bones Cause I've seen so many stars in the night Struggle to stay aflight Their huge carbon frames, they burst Sooner or later we're all gonna burst So let's lie here in my bed my dear Watch the fireworks
6.
Onward 04:28
It's time to sleep Time to fly again Like a moth to a flame Go back to where you came Or like a red rocket ship to the moon But you gotta go you gotta go real soon Give it space give it time Give it water give it wine Give it luck give it rhyme Give it rapture and make it shine Look at me, its ok to leave You've missed me now I see Listen to me Now its time to go You've done what you can here You're cracked you're soiled and you're overripe It's time, so let it go Onward to the flame Meet me in the flame From whence you came you return again Onward to the flame All my life I've wanted to be older than I am now And I'll never quite snag that tail I'm spinning like a top So if you see me crazed and dizzy and foaming at the mouth Don't try to help I've nearly got it all figured out, so Onward to the flame Onward to the flame I know I'm gonna die but my carbon will survive Onward to the flame I've run myself ragged but it had to be done I could have lived a lazy life but then I wouldn't have grown These cotton wings just begging to be drenched in the flames That I'm trying to chase down, so Onward to the flame Onward to the flame I don't know what happens next, but I'd love a decent rest Onward to the flame

about

This is a collection of songs inspired by a little moth who lived with me in my bathroom over a couple of days. He (or she) put a certain image and theme in my head as we coexisted every morning I got into the shower and he (or she) gave me my space while I respected his (or hers.) I'd like to think this little fella gave a direction and purpose to the batch of songs I ended up with after writing this year. These are the six I decided to share, tied together by the spirit of this little moth, surviving day-by-day in the harsh bathroom climate. I hope you enjoy them.

Sam

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released August 5, 2013

Album art design by Annelise Bodary

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Sam Bodary Columbus, Ohio

I am a human and I bashfully try to connect with other humans sometimes.

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