Onward to the Flame

by Sam Bodary

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1.
05:55
2.
3.
03:37
4.
01:58
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05:55
6.
04:28

about

This is a collection of songs inspired by a little moth who lived with me in my bathroom over a couple of days. He (or she) put a certain image and theme in my head as we coexisted every morning I got into the shower and he (or she) gave me my space while I respected his (or hers.) I'd like to think this little fella gave a direction and purpose to the batch of songs I ended up with after writing this year. These are the six I decided to share, tied together by the spirit of this little moth, surviving day-by-day in the harsh bathroom climate. I hope you enjoy them.

Sam

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released August 5, 2013

Album art design by Annelise Bodary

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Sam Bodary Columbus, Ohio

I am a human and I bashfully try to connect with other humans sometimes.

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Track Name: Limbo
Last night, I couldn't tell the sunlight from the moonlight from the half-light, or any kind of light
Penetrating my sight, the floodlights, the bar fights by drunken stoplights, some kind of light
As it glimmered and shone as I unwrapped your body and its tomes
Some kind of light
Learning every incantation to fend off my impending starvation till the next night

Some kind of light
Will get me through tonight
I'll end up alright
I'll go find a new light

You can go if you want to
You can stay if you want to
Just don't leave me in limbo
You can go if you want to
You can stay if you want to
Just don't leave my lying in limbo
Or I'll go crazy

This fight, I don't know if I'm right or you're right or we're both wrong and we just need a little light
Cause I've never quite stood a fight like this, I normally just bite the dust and hope it'll all be all right

By morning light
I just need that kind of light
To reconcile my fright
Just lead me to the light

You can go if you want to
You can stay if you want to
Just don't leave me in limbo
You can go if you want to
You can stay if you want to
Just don't leave me lying in limbo
Or I'll go crazy
Track Name: Time Machine Lullaby
Privacy is a red time machine, it'll take you back
Whizzing and whirring to the past
So you can examine
Every little choice you made and find
Every little misstep along the way

Heartbreak is a blue rocket ship
Blasting off to your mind on a mission to find how
You were never good enough for her and why
You'll never be enough for anybody else

You'll succumb to a feeling that seems to never end
Straight out of the best to the sleepless nights, it rends
You a lark and a fool, who no one can depend on
But by all means, try again try again try again

Hope is just an eager boy pushing you up
A yellow plastic slide, and he'll
Spur you on to rise again, just to
Stumble back to where you got up from

Life is like a brown willow tree, reaching for the sky
And across the lawn with its leaves hanging
Down for all to see the goal was never
To be taller than the rest at all

So sleep, my darling, go to sleep
Your best days are today so go out and live it up
Cause tomorrow will be hard, be still for now
And sleep sound
Goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight
Track Name: Waiting
You woke up on a Saturday
Eyes staring up at mine
You said "Boy it's been a long long time
Since anyone round here's looked me in the eyes
No surprise"

And I stare back at you
I say "Well it's just the two of us
Your little girl went out for a drink I think
She thinks I think but I don't think
I know"

I don't wanna be young anymore
I don't wanna be young anymore
Nothing I have to say hasn't been said before
I guess that's what waiting's for

You laugh and say to me
"Boy I can't even stand on my feet
It hurts more than you'd ever believe to breathe deep
You don't want to be like me.
I know

I don't wanna be old anymore
I don't wanna be old anymore
Any tiny speck of mold could spell the end for me, I'm sure
I guess that's what waiting's for"

"Let's make a deal" says he
"Help me up off my feet
And take me out to smell the tender breeze
That spreads the good disease
Would you please won't you pretty please
And in return

Lend me your fingers
I'll tell you a story
We'll write down a song for you to play when I'm gone
It's what they're waiting for"

I don't wanna be young anymore
I don't wanna be young anymore
But I'll play these songs till I'm old and I'm sore
Cause that's what living's for
Track Name: Dissassembly
Look how it starts
Look how it disassembles now
With no fanfare or march
Just the soft admittance
That its time has passed
As it packs up a bag solemn and stark
And struggles with the deadbolt again
Track Name: To the Flame
I am waiting for the culling of the herd
And the calming of the seas afterword
I don't know how much sun is left
But I'm not gonna waste my light dreading the night
It's coming all right
It's coming all right

I got a one-way ticket on a beat up train
And I'll ride till they kick me up, and kick me off
Where no angels fly and you'll seldom see a soul
But there's white clouds for miles around
For miles and miles and miles around

Cause I've seen so many moths in the night
Fly too close to the light
Their soft cotton wings, they burst
Sooner or later we all burst
So I'll lie here in my bed my dear
Let's watch the fireworks

I'll fly I'll fly I'll fly down
But I can't slow can't slow

Cause I've seen so many moths in the night
Fly too close to the light
Their soft cotton wings, they burst
Sooner or later we all burst
So I'll lie here in my bed my dear
Let's watch the fire

I can't tell babe, I can't tell
But my clock could run out real soon
So till then I'm running at full speed
I may not have as much time as I think I need
So I'm running forward, babe I'm
Running at full speed.

But I'm missing the world, plowing through my chores
Head down, next to my vacant window frame on this god-forsaken train
I'm giving up on my long to-do
I'll try to force some rest on these bones, on my weary bones

Cause I've seen so many stars in the night
Struggle to stay aflight
Their huge carbon frames, they burst
Sooner or later we're all gonna burst
So let's lie here in my bed my dear
Watch the fireworks
Track Name: Onward
It's time to sleep
Time to fly again
Like a moth to a flame
Go back to where you came
Or like a red rocket ship to the moon
But you gotta go you gotta go real soon

Give it space give it time
Give it water give it wine
Give it luck give it rhyme
Give it rapture and make it shine

Look at me, its ok to leave
You've missed me now I see
Listen to me

Now its time to go
You've done what you can here
You're cracked you're soiled and you're overripe
It's time, so let it go

Onward to the flame
Meet me in the flame
From whence you came you return again
Onward to the flame

All my life I've wanted to be older than I am now
And I'll never quite snag that tail I'm spinning like a top
So if you see me crazed and dizzy and foaming at the mouth
Don't try to help I've nearly got it all figured out, so

Onward to the flame
Onward to the flame
I know I'm gonna die but my carbon will survive
Onward to the flame

I've run myself ragged but it had to be done
I could have lived a lazy life but then I wouldn't have grown
These cotton wings just begging to be drenched in the flames
That I'm trying to chase down, so

Onward to the flame
Onward to the flame
I don't know what happens next, but I'd love a decent rest
Onward to the flame